Posts Tagged ‘spirituality’

no regrets

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

I’m feeling opinionated… so prepare to bear the brunt of my ruminations.

They used to come to me by e-mail, but things tend to move from one form of annoying to another without changing their nature (like this blog). Of course, I speak of Myspace bulletin surveys. Despite my best efforts, I read some of them. I see a lot of this question, in one form or another, “If you had it to do over again, would you (insert X)?”

Frequently, the reply is, in one form or another, “No, I have no regrets. If I hadn’t made the choices I did, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”

Excuse my language, but Poppycock.

There. I’ve said it.

While I respect many of the people who feel this way, I disagree with their line of thought on this subject.

We are so terribly concerned that life doesn’t catch us by surprise. More importantly, we desperately don’t want look like fools. Good luck with that, mortal.

When the “no regrets” band wagon was first loaded, I think it made sense. It was an encouragement. “Follow your dreams, brother. Don’t let fear keep you from that something great which you would do.” In other words, live your life in such a way that you will have no regrets.

It means something else now, doesn’t it? Now, it entails making yet another offering to the Great (Everyone Needs to Know How Cool and Self-Confident) I Am. And what, exactly, is bound upon the altar? Repentance and humility, for starters. I’ve made a lot of bad choices. I can think of a few I’d gladly take back, given the chance. To my understanding, that is part of repentance. It doesn’t mean I have to dwell on the past and live in guilt — that ignores forgiveness. What it does mean is realizing that what I’ve done is wrong. If I wouldn’t change it, given the chance, then I can’t have changed much. I suspect on that point, many of you will disagree; and you are entitled.

Let me leave you with this question, though. What is the reason for this dedication to our past? Are we so pleased with ourselves now that we’re glad we didn’t always take God’s path? Maybe we are. I really believe that if I had taken God’s path, I’d be in a much better position than I am now. When I don’t recognize that fact, I let my arrogance fly in the face of His wisdom and His will.

Here is one of my favorite sections of scripture, Deuteronomy 30:15-19:

See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Apparently, we can look back on our lives and say to God, “God, thanks for bringing me so far. I’m pretty happy with where we are now. Honestly, aren’t You glad we didn’t do it Your way? I mean, we wouldn’t be here today if we had!”

I’m sure God understands. After all, we know best.

Right?

these abundant skies

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

i’m in a good mood right now, and i feel like sharing. welcome, friends.

sunday night i took the church van out to crestview with the youth group for the ignite youth rally. it was much like other events of the sort, and the spiritual boost always helps. i did realize something though. i really love working with teens, and i think i’m going to start looking for a youth ministry job somewhere. this was taken from the hood of the church van. Jarrett enjoys the gangster pose.

IMG_0206

These kids are basically how I stay this side of sane… whichever side that is.

What else? Friday night I went swing dancing with Sara out at American Legion. I love it there, because the dancing is not of a promiscuous nature. Smoking and drinking are not allowed, so the people who are there are basically there just to dance and have fun. I am rhythmically challenged, but I am learning, and I really enjoy it. DDR is helping me work on the whole timing thing.

About a month ago I realized I was fatter than my liking, so I started on a diet and some light workout routines. So far, I’ve lost about 8 lbs (started around 215). I’m not so much worried about what the number on the scale says, but I would like to get in shape.

My diet has revolved around trying to limit my daily calories to a maximum of 2000, and breaking up my meals into 5 or 6 per day, every 2.5 hours or so. I try to drink nothing but water, and the really important part is getting 8 hours of sleep a night if possible. Workouts have been mainly limited to about 30 min of DDR daily, some light free weights, and for a few days I got up and jogged a mile first thing in the morning. (This last week I’ve been horrible, not working out, not getting enough sleep, and generally being lazy.) I seem to have plateaued, so I think soon I’m going to start on an actual weight routine. My starting goal was to reach 180lbs before the end of May. I’ll keep you posted.

For those of you who don’t know, on Saturday I’m leaving for Guatemala again. I’ll be returning on 2/25, Lord willing. If you give me your address, I’ll send you a postcard. I’m looking forward to the visit, practicing my espanol, and hanging out with my good friend, Mafer. Que buena onda!

One other thing that is just warming the cockles of my heart is that I got my phone back today. A few months ago, my Sony Ericsson Z520a that I bought unlocked and (ostensibly) unused from ebay. It worked great for a month, and then one day just stopped picking up signal. I put my SIM card in my old Nokia (despite its age, it seems to be the only reliable phone that works no matter what). On 1/30, I finally FedEx’d it out to the good folks Sony Ericsson hired to do their repair work. I did not have high hopes. Long story short, it arrived back on my doorstep today. It works like a charm and I’m pleased as punch. I’ll cover this story in a separate blog, for the purpose of reviews and others who might have similar problems with this model phone. By the way, if you are reading this and have my phone number, give me a call. I lost all my phone numbers from my SIM when I put it in the old phone, so I am low on numbers at the moment.

God has blessed me. Please be praying for me, friends. I want to make sure that I rely on God every step of the way, even when things seem like they’re under control and i don’t “need” to pray about it. (I always need to pray about it). In closing, let me share some familiar lyrics, courtesy of Switchfoot:

I’m learning to breathe
I’m learning to crawl
I’m finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I’m living again, awake and alive
I’m dying to breathe in these abundant skies

This last couple of years, it’s like I’ve been in some sort of fog. God is faithful, and he has continued to provide light for my soul, even when it was devoid of faith and full of sin. The path is getting brighter every day, and for that I am most grateful. Thank you, Lord for your tireless mercy and forgiveness. And thank you for loving me and seeking me out when I don’t deserve it. Dust and ashes never could have hoped to have it so good… yet in Jesus, I do.

Let me take this opportunity to invite you to learn about Jesus, if you have not committed your soul to His care. I can promise that it will never be a waste, and though I will let you down, He never will.

oh, and apparently it’s Valentine’s Day. May it be a good one, and may chocolate fill your mouths. the end.

blessed be Your name

Monday, December 4th, 2006

so, I had this really long blog planned out, like I usually do. basically wait a month and then narrate my life — that’s the formula. well, not this time. i’m cutting my losses, and then i’m going to offer you some false hope that i’ll update more often. muahhahahha.

last time we chatted, i had just returned from a sweet vacation in Guatemala. since then, not much and a whole lot has happened. here is what comes to mind:

I came home and my car broke down. broke down big time. for about a week, i borrowed my parents’ cars to get to work. then i paid to have it fixed, because apparently my car was critically unsafe to drive on about five different fronts, two of which involved the steering and brakes. nice. so, $1200 poorer and feeling smug about my trusty chrysler, I went about my business. one week later I found myself stuck in the middle of the road with a dead engine. great. to make a long story short, I now am the proud owner (or GMAC is, I should say) of a 2007 Saturn Ion. It is a stick, rocks the gas milage, and is very fun to drive. where is my old chrysler now, you ask? If you guessed, “in your front yard”, you win!

my brother came home for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful. we played a lot of guitar (he’s still better than me.) we also went to a Third Day show in Mobile. of course, they rocked. They did not play “All the Heavens”, so Leslie and I had to play it ourselves when we got home. we sound okay though. my favorite for the night was “Blessed Assurance”. it was very cool to be singing that in a stadium with several thousand other people. all in all a good night. David Crowder band played too; I recommend them. So does Third Day, but then again, they own the label.

My Aunt Faye lives with my family, and has for the last couple of years. Uncle Bill has been in a nursing home, because of his health. Aunt Faye has gone every single day to visit him. every single day. last week, Uncle Bill’s health took a turn for the worse. that was not unexpected, and it landed him in the hospital. Aunt Faye has been married to Uncle Bill since she was 16 years old. I cannot fathom that. More than sixty years together. Wednesday night we were in the hospital room. My mom was there, Aunt Faye, and some other family.

It was becoming obvious that Uncle Bill was near death. Even Aunt Faye said that a few hours out, when his blood pressure became very faint. As far as I can remember, it is the first time I’ve actually watched someone die. Uncle Bill was brave. He couldn’t talk for the breathing tube in his throat, but he did not face it with fear. I hope that when my time comes, I will die well. I learned more from Aunt Faye though. She was a nurse in that very hospital for over 20 years. She knows about death, and has seen it many times. She knew her man, the one she’d loved for sixty years was going to leave so soon. She did not wail, she did not beg him to stay, and she did not try to command control over the situation. For the time Bill stayed, she told him a lot of things. She told him how she loved him with her whole heart. She told him how he was very precious to her, and how he was a wonderful man. And with Faye holding his hand, Bill passed on from this world to await the Judgement. I can only hope that I am blessed to have a wife who is so unselfish with those last moments, and who loves me, and who has such an amazingly strong faith. But even if not, if God calls me to live my life without a mate, I pray that I will die trusting God in the same way I’ve learned from Bill and Faye.

okay, enough sadness, a couple of news items and I’ll call it a night. apple, inc. makes this thing called a macbook. I have one now. In fact, I’m typing this very blog on it. I’m very happy with my expensive and irresponsible purchase, thank you very much. I love the fact that I can check my e-mail on the toilet. gross, but true.

finally, this weekend was great. Friday night, I went swing dancing for the first time. My friend Catherine Langford (we were pretty good friends in high school) invited me. I have little to no rhythm, so it’s hard for me to dance. I had so much fun though! I plan on going again soon. It’s great exercise, and its almost a family atmosphere. At the American Legion, where they do this every Friday night, there was no smoke or alcohol, just dancers of all ages and skill levels. Watch out, ladies. (really, watch out, you might get hurt while I’m flailing around the floor.)

and lastly, saturday I went up to Montgomery to see my good friend Sara Vaughn. I learned how to develop black & white prints, old school style. also, I rode some sort of Christmas train through the Montgomery Zoo. I might have permanently scarred a little kid by shouting “MUHAHHAHHHAA …. MEEEERRRRRRY CHRISTMASS…”, Halloween style. woops. I got my payback though. Sara and her friend Courtney made me watch Rocky Horror Picture Show. Disturbing, on so many levels. but Tim Curry was amazing, despite how uncomfortable it was to watch, at times.

Well, I’m done kids. I love you all. Merry Christmas.

a spirit of fear

Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Friends and family, it is time for another message from your old pal, Lloyd. I have many fun things to tell you about my weekend in Nashville, but tonight, I have some more important things I want to talk to you about. Those of you who are brothers and sisters in Christ, and followers of the Way, children of God, these thoughts are directed specifically at you.

You obviously have access to the internet if you are reading this. In our country, we have television, magazines, and all types of media able to tell us what is going on in the world. Reading the news, especially on the internet can be scary these days. So many bad things over which we have little or no control happen every day. The more we see these and the more we take them to heart, the easier it is for Satan to come in and steal our joy. It is ever easier for him to make us doubt… ever easier for him to try and bind us with fear.

At times I notice myself worrying about all of the ills in this world. I worry how God will take care of it. I worry whether my descendants will live in as great a nation as I do now. I know I am not the only one. Yes, there is much going on in the world right now, and it is directly in our faces 24/7 more than has ever been possible in the past. There are some crazy things happening, but keep in mind, it has always been so.

I say this to encourage you. Paul said to Timothy, “for God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline.” (1 Timothy 2:7) Do not cave into the fear Satan desires to ensnare you with. Put on the “full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13) Paul told us about this protection and weaponry for a good reason. Stay in the Word, keep on praying daily, and do not fall prey to the spirit of fear under which Satan wishes to place you. Our God is already the victor, the battle was won when Jesus was raised from death.

May the Lord continue to be with you, and please pray for me as well. I am struggling to keep that armor on and to leave fear buried with my old sinful self. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 1:18).

focused

Tuesday, July 4th, 2006

Sunday afternoon I got back from Focus, and it was really great. For those of you who don’t know, the best way to describe focus is probably Church camp, but it’s much different in many ways. About 200 – 300 teens (middle to high school) come to Faulkner University for a week. Every day, you do a service project, a few worship times, devotionals, or classes, some sports, and some activities just for fun.

This year, one of the main projects was the rolling closet, the backyard Bible school, and general cleanup and help with the Montgomery Inner City Ministry. I ended up being the chaperon who went to that every day, and it was a huge blessing. I got to spend some time every day with Jonathan Moseby, who was an evangelist working with that ministry. I also met some really great teenagers who worked very hard to help out, including my guys, but I already knew they were awesome.

Some of the other projects included visiting with the elderly at a retirement home close to Faulkner’s campus, writing cards to soldiers stationed overseas in Iraq and other combat areas, and cleaning and repairing houses for Montgomery residents.

The keynote speaker this year was a gentleman named Wiley Lowe, who is the youth minister for a congregation in Daytona Beach, FL called Holly Hill Church of Christ. (apparently they used to have a website, but not anymore.) In any case, God has blessed that man with a gift for preaching the good news. The theme this year was “super powers,” and all the speakers touched on that subject. Wiley talked a lot about Satan, and his desire to tear us away from God. Specifically he stressed our ability to choose to stay away from his traps, because God warns us how Satan will attack. In any case, my guys were impressed with his lessons, and so was I. Honestly, he reminds me of Dr. Fortner from Harding University in many ways. I have an immense respect for Fortner, though he may be a bit over the edge at times. If you ever get the chance to hear Wiley speak, I recommend taking it.

Focus also has a lot of fun activities, some of which are not that exciting, but some are great. This year we went to a baseball game, the Montgomery Biscuits vs the Mobile Bay Bears. That’s right folks, they’re called the biscuits. Don’t ask me. There was also a karaoke night, and one night we had the mall to ourselves playing broom hockey (arguably more dangerous than regular hockey… it does not involve skates or pads, but does involve large sticks with plastic on the ends… usually there are minor injuries) and video games. By the way, my new favorite game (i intend to get a pad for home) is Dance Dance Revolution. There was a guy there named Adam who was insanely good. I wanted to tape him, but we ran out of time. In any case, it is mad fun, and I need one to get in shape.

I have some video (and maybe pics, not sure) from Focus. Once I get it captured and edited, I’ll throw it up so you can see some Focus goodness.

God totally took care of me (He always does) with my car this week, too. Three minutes from the Church on the way back (so thankful it wasn’t back in Montgomery), my speedometer stopped working, and then my car stopped shifting out of second. Of course, I was convinced my transmission was shot. But, thanks to God, it was only my “speed sensors”. Short story is, it was an $80 repair vs an $800 repair. Sweet.

Personally, Focus helped me tons this year. It reminded me that I need to be back doing ministry. It also gave me a spiritual boost that I’ve been needing for awhile. And, I got to spend time with the guys in the youth group, and that’s always a great (albeit strange/disturbing) time.

Comment it up, kids.