no regrets
I’m feeling opinionated… so prepare to bear the brunt of my ruminations.
They used to come to me by e-mail, but things tend to move from one form of annoying to another without changing their nature (like this blog). Of course, I speak of Myspace bulletin surveys. Despite my best efforts, I read some of them. I see a lot of this question, in one form or another, “If you had it to do over again, would you (insert X)?”
Frequently, the reply is, in one form or another, “No, I have no regrets. If I hadn’t made the choices I did, I wouldn’t be who I am today.”
Excuse my language, but Poppycock.
There. I’ve said it.
While I respect many of the people who feel this way, I disagree with their line of thought on this subject.
We are so terribly concerned that life doesn’t catch us by surprise. More importantly, we desperately don’t want look like fools. Good luck with that, mortal.
When the “no regrets” band wagon was first loaded, I think it made sense. It was an encouragement. “Follow your dreams, brother. Don’t let fear keep you from that something great which you would do.” In other words, live your life in such a way that you will have no regrets.
It means something else now, doesn’t it? Now, it entails making yet another offering to the Great (Everyone Needs to Know How Cool and Self-Confident) I Am. And what, exactly, is bound upon the altar? Repentance and humility, for starters. I’ve made a lot of bad choices. I can think of a few I’d gladly take back, given the chance. To my understanding, that is part of repentance. It doesn’t mean I have to dwell on the past and live in guilt — that ignores forgiveness. What it does mean is realizing that what I’ve done is wrong. If I wouldn’t change it, given the chance, then I can’t have changed much. I suspect on that point, many of you will disagree; and you are entitled.
Let me leave you with this question, though. What is the reason for this dedication to our past? Are we so pleased with ourselves now that we’re glad we didn’t always take God’s path? Maybe we are. I really believe that if I had taken God’s path, I’d be in a much better position than I am now. When I don’t recognize that fact, I let my arrogance fly in the face of His wisdom and His will.
Here is one of my favorite sections of scripture, Deuteronomy 30:15-19:
See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Apparently, we can look back on our lives and say to God, “God, thanks for bringing me so far. I’m pretty happy with where we are now. Honestly, aren’t You glad we didn’t do it Your way? I mean, we wouldn’t be here today if we had!”
I’m sure God understands. After all, we know best.
Right?
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Phillip "Carpe Diem" Cunningham III
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March 6th, 2007 - 20:55
poppycock
March 7th, 2007 - 10:08
Excellent diatribe. I wholeheartedly agree. But you know, I’m just tired of MySpace survey’s, period.
I especially like the line about how it’s all a front: “the Great (Everyone Needs to Know How Cool and Self-Confident) I Am.” Nice.
BTW, I’m glad you mentioned Festivus in your last post. Classic. I saw it on TV the other day. And Lloyd, I feel the need to have an airance of grievances. I’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU!!
March 9th, 2007 - 07:22
I concur with Leslie, this is absolute poppycock. Not to sound rude, but this is just your opinion and some people actually do feel this way about “no regrets.” If you are happy with your current place in life, then what is there to regret? After all, whatever may have happened in the past, it got you to where you are now and if you are content with your current situation that’s all that can ever be hoped for by a mere mortal. God perfects a person in whatever fashion might be necessary. Dwelling on the past and things you regret and wish to change is a complete and utter waste of time. God forgives AND forgets immediately; so should we all do with ourselves and others. If you (non-sspecific, a universal “you”) find yourself wishing you could change past errors or ways, do not dwell on these things but gather your strength in God, allow Him to send you in a new direction. All I’m saying is, maybe we would be in the exact same place if other, better choices had been made in the past, but maybe not. Personally, I am rather convinced that one’s life would not be the same and can be altered by the most minute change in behavior or choice. Only God has the answer to that question. My point is that if you are currently in the right place, that’s all you need to be concerned with. Oh, and I dont have any problems with you Lloyd except for the fact that you are too darn sexy : O
March 9th, 2007 - 12:19
I have mixed feelings on this issue. See, it’s not really the choices that I have made for myself that I do not regret. I do regret a lot of things. But each and every circumstance in my life has led me to learn the lesson that I did from the mistakes that I have made. I think mainly what I personally mean when I use this phrase that I “regret nothing” is I do not regret the things that happened to me that I had no control over, no matter how painful they are because they made me humble and more understanding. I’ve been through a lot in my short 22 years. More than I think any woman should ever have to endure. But I hold on to hope and faith because I know that everything happens for a reason. I can sit here all day long and wonder “Why me?” But I know that it is forming my heart to be the woman of God that I want to be. And that I should be.
March 9th, 2007 - 21:24
Actually I just wanted to say “poppycock”. In reality, I fully agree with Lloyd. Obviously I think God has the power to lead us to good things in spite of our sinful actions and forgives us as we repent. That is the power of a wonderful and gracious God. In fact, I think that is to some degree part of the natural state of things – we have been made to learn from our mistakes. But what fool would stand before God and say “Oh God, thanks so much for my sins! They’ve been such a blessing!” I think God would be annoyed by such a thought. Why did God give us commands to begin with? So that we can go ahead and sin and learn later? I would challenge a person to find that in the Scriptures. The point of those commands is to keep us walking in the light, to keep us on the path to eternal life, indeed to keep us from harming ourselves and others! It doesn’t matter where you are in your life – even if you’re in the position of preaching salvation to thousands – God could’ve gotten you there without your sin. In fact, it’s possible you could’ve done MORE without your sin. Learn from your mistakes, sure – but if you don’t regret your mistakes, I’m not sure you can truly say you have repented of them.
March 9th, 2007 - 21:32
ok…well i had to read this a couple of times to fully understand what you were saying and i agree but at the same time i disagree…i see what you are saying and now that i think about it, there are things in my life that, if i could, i would change, but everything happens for a reason and is part of God’s plan and for me…all my mistakes taught me a valuable lesson that not only helped me better understand things but also helped me mature
while i want to not make mistakes, i do daily, but that’s just a part of human nature and i don’t think we should dwell on the past thinking about what we could change about something that happened…instead i think we should focus on being the best person we can be that day, and not any other day, previous or future
March 11th, 2007 - 12:26
Laura Prepon is doing a movie for ABC Family. Woo!